I switched again....

I'm at Squarespace now, dawgs. alyssacowan.squarespace.com

If you feel like dancing....dance with Shane and Brandon! ...and other stuff from this week.

Last night was fantastic! Shane, Brandon and I went dancing, and it was amazing. (I love those guys to death! They're total sweethearts.) What was actually kind of weird about the dance night is that we spent a good two hours of it having intelligent conversation outside of the bar....which made us wonder why we didn't go to Denny's or something.

Shane, Brandon and I went dancing where we were recognized by someone who enjoys our comedy show. A really nice girl came up to the two of us and said, "I know you don't know me, but I just wanted to let you guys know that I went to your show and I loved it." I'm pretty sure Shane and I almost took a dump in our respective pants. It was really exciting to be noticed, and it was really sweet of that girl to do that. Of course Shane and I acted like little girls when it happened.

A text message exchange with my father about other events from this week:

Me: I just got a free drink from a bartender on account of me being in the comedy troupe. She liked our show.

Papa: Hey, I liked your show, too. And I would have bought you a drink also, but you were driving my vehicle.

It was really cool having my father in the crowd on Wednesday, especially since he's one of the people I always feel proud to make laugh.

Other notes from this week:

• I am allowed to use my hands during a blowjob shot because my mouth is too small to fit around the shot glass.
• When compelled to try to flip upside down on a pole, make sure you're not crotching it...because you'll just run toward it and hit your crotch. Hrm.
• My mom believes that if there are no pineapple terriyaki meatballs in the house, there is no food in the house.

I apologize for the jumpy post!

Oh my goodness, this Fail made me unbelievably happy.

I actuallyed loled...for reallies.

see more Fail Blog

Should I feel bad?

Every once in a while, I'll do my news show during the Comedy Cabaret, and afterwards people (even people in my troupe) will ask, "Is that really true?" And I always just kind of look at them funny and say, "No, that was the punch line The old iPhone doesn't really cost $2000..."

Should I make it more clear that my punchlines are fake? Or is it funnier when they think it is true?

Make sure you come to our show on Wednesday!

...this one is going to be good. :)

Lance Armstrong

Me: So, I'm thinking about starting to bike to work, because it's easier to get around on campus.

My Sister: What? Why?! Who the hell do you think you are, Lance Armstrong? You're not going to make it.

...upon more thought, I have determined that 5 or 6 miles up and downhill may a little unreasonable on my tiny half unfit body. Good call. Haha.

Twitter: The Best of May 2009

Wipeout requires knowledge of Crash Bandicoot and old school slip and slides, I am convinced.
9:23 PM May 31st from web

http://twitpic.com/6dfv5 - Shane had to prove that he and his chimichanga are buff by breaking his fork.
5:27 PM May 31st from web

Knee socks will help balance the tans. Right-O. Good morning/night.
5:11 AM May 31st from web

This evening I hung out with gamers, drank tea, went impromptu clubbing and saw a poppunk show. Yay for satisfying many different interests!
1:13 AM May 30th from web

Okay another band name suggestion: Boozey Shoes.
11:51 PM May 29th from XMPP Gateway

Addendum to my last post...it was mostly in jest.
8:57 PM May 29th from XMPP Gateway

I think we should name our band the Electric Hadouken. Thoughts?
8:36 PM May 29th from XMPP Gateway

http://bit.ly/15gzM1 Danny ruins everything.
4:33 PM May 29th from web

@TadDunbar I do that so people wander around Reno looking for a cartoon...and I'm behind them the whole time and they don't know!
4:07 PM May 29th from web in reply to TadDunbar

@nousie I haven't heard the phrase "cock diesel" at all, but thanks for the new vocab.
3:40 PM May 29th from web in reply to nousie

http://bit.ly/UHrLd I learned something new today.
3:26 PM May 29th from web

Marvin just sang "Wuv" instead of "Love." Vaughn can sing weird falsetto metal. I'm in a muppet band.
6:17 PM May 28th from XMPP Gateway

@kihoshi What if I hate vampires and like trashy poorly written novels. What can you suggest?
3:03 PM May 28th from XMPP Gateway

http://bit.ly/9odAu Lawl!
1:38 PM May 28th from web

@kevinrose I thought those were Bloody Marys? Or is that just the drink of cougars?
11:42 PM May 27th from XMPP Gateway

I'm tired of these muthafucking onesies in this muthafucking mall!
6:18 PM May 25th from XMPP Gateway

Reno is where dreams go to breathe.
10:03 PM May 22nd from XMPP Gateway

LFO stole your honey like he stole your bike.
11:26 AM May 22nd from twidroid

Marvin is Grandmaster Chess. I've probably been demoted to Mixmaster Mike.
11:48 PM May 19th from twidroid

Street Fighter is one of G4's "Movies That Don't Suck." I call bullshit.
11:22 AM May 17th from twidroid

Jenn says I'm a caterpillar.
5:49 AM May 16th from twidroid

Lol @ MTV for using the bottom of the barrel in dating shows.
1:15 AM May 13th from twidroid

My mother takes naps while Marvin and I play ridiculous country covers.
3:54 PM May 11th from web

I'm fighting a dragon right now!
1:21 AM May 10th from twidroid

"You can't spell Alyssa without 'Ass'," says Marvin.
4:50 PM May 9th from twidroid

@twilightfiend the boat sinks. That's what happens.
12:39 AM May 9th from twidroid in reply to twilightfiend

Movie theaters in Reno need frozen yogurt. >.<
9:19 PM May 8th from twidroid

Why does this book exist? http://twitgoo.com/252r
8:01 PM May 8th from twitgoo

http://twitpic.com/4rh39 - Sarah's orange is now happy.
8:53 PM May 7th from TwitPic

Oh noes the intertubes done broke in my crib!
10:45 AM May 7th from txt

People should bust out grooves, not headlights. :(, @amandaftw
4:04 PM May 6th from XMPP Gateway

My sister: "Alyssa! Grab the Sham Wow!"
5:35 PM May 2nd from txt

Twitter: The Best of April 2009

http://tinyurl.com/c77ub4
10:18 PM Apr 30th from XMPP Gateway

http://twitpic.com/4510h - My mom loves her new pen.
8:03 PM Apr 27th from TwitPic

"i'm going to tip him up his asshole."
2:15 PM Apr 24th from txt

I have a fear of my comedy being too nerdy to be understandable by non nerdy folk.
8:57 AM Apr 24th from txt

"I'm so 3008 and you're so 2000 and late!" Oooooh snap, Fergy Ferg, I need ointment when you burn me so hard.
6:20 PM Apr 21st from XMPP Gateway

My vitamin water tastes like meat.
9:11 PM Apr 17th from txt

Doornob shopping tonight for my siblings' new hizzle. Any suggestions doornob enthusiast tweeps? Lol
3:33 PM Apr 17th from mbpidgin

Ugh, it feels like someone poisoned me! Or I've been reading too much Agatha Christie.
9:13 PM Apr 15th from mbpidgin

http://tinyurl.com/dy45zc
9:34 AM Apr 15th from mbpidgin

It goes in this order: kung fu then pbr. Never switch it around, i say.
12:28 AM Apr 15th from txt

I'm not on a boat, but reno is warm. I got my flippy floppies!
2:47 PM Apr 13th from txt

I'm home, and i have a sandwich!
10:16 PM Apr 11th from txt

http://tinyurl.com/d2gcxe
5:13 PM Apr 9th from mbpidgin

There's an atm in the background of the show "eye for an eye." good find, danny.
1:36 AM Apr 9th from txt

@pathrewritable quit drinking at Target
11:50 AM Apr 2nd from mbpidgin

If fish fillets were on the dollar menu, my father would be able to tell the temperature--he'd have so much mercury in him, he says.
10:09 AM Apr 2nd from mbpidgin

Brandon vs. Creepy Lady in the Sands on an Arby's run.

Creepy Lady: LOVE the hair!

Brandon: Thanks! LOVE the leather.

We all knew he didn't love the leather.

Shane: What just happened there?

Alyssa: Did you just get hit on?

Twitter: The Best of February - March 2009

@TadDunbar how does the fat not hip guy in Reno get to go to Choachella before me?
5:47 PM Mar 31st from mbpidgin

How I prove my white trash tendencies: go to MickeyD's - Ice cream cone, Fish Fillet and OJ
2:06 PM Mar 31st from mbpidgin

I keep wanting Transformers to come in and kill of the characters...thus ending this script I'm reading.
11:07 AM Mar 30th from mbpidgin

When I grow up I want to be an ACME detective.
8:58 PM Mar 29th from txt

Fun fact: rita moreno was the voice of carmen sandiego. Woot.
5:10 PM Mar 27th from txt

@jmestepa I want one so bad I can feel it in my loins.
11:52 AM Mar 23rd from mbpidgin

I guy in my office just met Stan Lee in the elevator of our building. >.
2:11 PM Mar 20th from web

I think the other intern just took a call from Demetri Martin. I think I just shat myself.
4:22 PM Mar 17th from web

http://tinyurl.com/c7pkoz
11:40 PM Mar 15th from web

http://twitpic.com/1vnyg -
9:43 PM Mar 5th from TwitPic

Lol hillary duff went to the bar last night after we left to go to denny's. Ha ha
11:45 AM Feb 28th from txt

Just got asked if i'm a boy or a girl by a drunken gay mexican man.
1:42 AM Feb 22nd from txt

@adamkallen Because I feel like it's abused like a really expensive series of bags of cocaine.
5:44 PM Feb 19th from web in reply to adamkallen

Selma: raisin capital woo
3:13 PM Feb 16th from txt

Travel note: you can't find a map of california in the raley's of loomis, california.
10:41 AM Feb 16th from txt

I'm officially a cheap date: pbr is delicious.
10:10 PM Feb 10th from txt

Omg i was 2 feet away from dave foley but too much of a sissy to say hi
4:13 PM Feb 9th from txt

@twilightfiend Kid Rock has nothing...except for maybe some crabs.
9:10 PM Feb 8th from web in reply to twilightfiend

Twitter: The Best of January 2009

Swingers in santa monica we got hungry and turtle racing got stupid.
11:47 PM Jan 29th from txt

How can you not stop in a place named chowchilla?!
2:10 PM Jan 26th from txt

http://twitpic.com/16igp - Sarah says happy holy aids to all!
10:23 PM Jan 23rd from TwitPic

@amandaftw I am offended by all beards, so I share your dad's sentiment.
9:01 PM Jan 21st from TwitterGadget in reply to amandaftw

@jmestepa jump thru the screen and punch her...unless she is 12.
11:21 PM Jan 11th from txt in reply to jmestepa

Really the channel 4 is doing a story about wii injuries? That story is a year old. Way to get the scoop.
11:26 PM Jan 10th from TwitterGadget

http://twitpic.com/11e2k - Marvin knows how to wear a hat.
12:22 AM Jan 10th from TwitPic

http://twitpic.com/z70w - Horror section fail.
9:18 PM Jan 2nd from TwitPic

I just spen[t] the last twenty minutes talking at my buddy about the economics of World of Warcraft monster spawning. Haha. What a nerd.
2:28 PM Jan 2nd from TwitterGadget

I'm so amused by this poor reporter trying not to get touched in south lake.
12:08 AM Jan 1st from txt

Twitter: The Best of December 2008

@amandaftw different strokes for different folks. I wish i watched diff'rent strokes instead.
2:38 AM Dec 22nd, 2008 from txt in reply to amandaftw

http://tinyurl.com/4ab2jh
11:23 AM Dec 20th, 2008 from TwitterGadget

How are you supposed to breath with no air, Jordan Sparks? You don't. Stop asking.
10:10 AM Dec 20th, 2008 from TwitterGadget

http://twitpic.com/sqhp - Good advice: don't eat bath set.
10:06 PM Dec 13th, 2008 from TwitPic

Boo Norton anything.
1:28 PM Dec 6th, 2008 from twhirl

Oh my! All of those nights at Studio 54 in the late 70s are catching up with you I see. OH to be young again.
5:18 PM Dec 3rd, 2008 from twhirl